Spiffy news and a swerve back to reality.

First the news. I applied to become a blogger for the national Tea Party website and was accepted. Yay spaceships! Now I have two blogs, one for the political stuff and one for reality. For now, you can access my first political post at "www.newpatriotjournal.com" or "www.teapartypatriots.org" . The New Patriot Journal is the blogging arm of the Tea Party.
All was well in life. Reality came home with Cortlan in the form of a home fire escape plan. Here it is in all it's glory.

 Instantly I noticed that his first strategy to survive a house fire was to shout MOM! MOOOOOM!

He said, "then I noticed that everyone else was drawing maps."

You will need to know that the "M's" you see everywhere are pieces of fire. I had to tell him that if there was that much fire, we were already dead.

If you look closer, you will see the words "hide" and "attic" crossed out. He asked Phil if the crawlspace and the attic were good places to hide. My husband had to explain the working nature of the phrase "deathtrap".

If this fire plan is what's standing between my family and the obituaries, it looks like my prospects of getting all 4 children to adulthood are slim. I bequeath my fine collection of casserole pans to Denny's.

*Warning* Not a gem. More like slightly sour milk. You want to use it, but it's roulette.

Now that Halloween is over...
I can get back to the illustrious task of consuming my children's candy.
Here is my policy:
As we currently live in a Socalist state, I (as the government) am entitled to more than 60% of my citizen's income. I take this not because I'm greedy, but because surely I know better how to spend it then they do.
Cortlan was Dr. Cockroach from Monsters vs. Aliens, Caspian was an Egyptian queen, Rowan was a Balrog from Lord of the Rings and Heston was a Meerkat. I was a wishful candidate for gastric bypass surgery.

Because we had some friends over for dinner, the house got clean. This will leave me free to injure, nay, slay the laundry beast. From that victory I will sit down to my congratulatory feast of mounds bars and "liberated" candy from the bags of those who laundry I triumph over.

Most likely I will do my partying up front and wander around my house in a stupor wondering why I just found that chalk orange peanut desirable.

And to the lady that gave me a coupon for a free Mary Kay lip gloss during a "makeover" during trick-o-treat. I see right through your ploy and am embarrassed for you. Calling it a "mommy treat" does not mitigate your tacky attempt to sell makeup during a kids activity. If you must sell makeup, at least have the straightforwardness to do it in the cold light of day. Just so you know, the one day where it's cool to look like a bag lady is not the day to push looking good.

So, just to recap. I'm a candy thief, I don't fold clothes and MLM's are tacky.
Shelby out.