Weed of the Day

First off, I have to highlight something normal I did besides engage in petty competition. All of my kids have had great teachers this year and I wanted to do something nice for them. There are so many bad apples in the education system I want to encourage the good ones (please don't get me started on teacher's unions). If that means I have to do something crafty, then so be it. There is this super awesome herbal tea I used to kick my hot chocolate habit and I drove all the way into Atlanta to get some for each teacher. Our trip to that mall is a different post, but it's sufficient to say that we're hicks.

Behold...

Azteca Fire tea from Teavana.

I would like to thank Teavana for helping me not be a horrible parent for 15 minutes.

Now, on to your regularly scheduled program.

Weed of The Day

 Soooooo, it's safe to say the bloom is off the well manicured rose in my long-term relationship with Georgia. Last summer here was considered "warmer than normal" while my family considered it "my face is melting off of my skull."  Also, we didn't have a winter, he had a W---. One of Caspian's Christmas presents was a nice, long, warm coat... that has never been worn out of need.

It's May. Phil in particular is not enamored with climate that can induce heat stroke in a matter of minutes.

There are many other things I've learned in year I've been in the deep south. Since I've already covered all things with more than 4 legs, that bag of creepy goodness will remain on the shelf.

#1. HOA's are in fact, as horrid as everybody says

In less than 8 months, we received the following notices from the Home Owners Association we rent in:
     a. The mulch in our yard was deemed too "brown." The mulch here consists of bales of 5 inch long dead pine needles.
     b. Our yard was not edged properly.
     c.  We failed to get permission to erect a trampoline in the BACKYARD.
     d. Our bushes were not properly trimmed.
     e. There were too many weeds in the cracks on the driveway.

To top it all off, last summer, the yard right next door proudly displayed a sign that read "Yard of the Month." That's right, the childless couple who care for their yard with the same zeal as the rightful owner of Ferris Bueller's Ferarri won that coveted award.

He doesn't drive it, he just rubs it with a diaper.

After my hysterical laughter subsided, I starting wondering if they gave this yard the award as a way of highlighting my failings in yard care. The Nobel Peace Prize Committee did the same thing, just with Obama and G.W. Bush.
I, not wanting to pass up a chance to compete, decided to start my own competition. I give to you the winners below.

And...

I wonder if I'll be cited for unauthorized signs in the yard.

#2. Everyone here is addicted to football.

I was shocked at the amount of bumper stickers, flags on houses, flags on cars, jerseys on kids and other propaganda that is plastered all over the landscape about sports teams. On game day I can drive through any neighborhood and see where American flags have been replaced with said sports team propaganda. This is where I get cynical. While there may be certain bonuses to be had from participation in athletic activities, sitting on a couch managing your chip & dip resources does NOTHING for you. Also, the idea of identifying yourself with a group of people you have never met, worked with, been friends of, or sat in traffic with is delusional and tribal in nature.
People, if you want to feel like you accomplished something, GO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING. If you are one of the precious few that actually achieve something on merit, my hat goes off to you... You likely are too busy to watch football.
On the other hand, thank you for labeling your tribal mentality, it makes it easier to put what you say in context.

#3. Six Flags is overrated

Last summer we made a rookie mistake. We bought season passes to Atlanta's family destination, Six Flags. I have always loved roller coasters, sudden drop rides, water parks, etc. Having the park so close to me was one of the trade-offs of living in a city.
Oh how wrong I was.
Aside from the walking, (the never ending, child herding walking) The lines are ridiculous for all but the most boring rides. If you have small kids, most of your day is spent walking, standing inline, standing nearby as they ride a looney tunes themed ride, and walking some more. They have a couple of rides with water in the mix, providing some much needed relief. The downside to that is if you partake of said rides, you have to walk around the rest of the day with wet shoes, pushing a stroller loaded with kids who have long since given up carrying their own weight. Add in the ever present heat stroke factor and you have a large pile of misery with $4 water bottles and $10 slices of pizza.

The jewel in this crown of misery is the buffet factor. Since I'm a tightwad, there was this compulsion to go as many times as possible to "get our money's worth." When Phil mentioned that I should take the kids "one last time on a weekday" but couldn't get off work to go with us... well... let's just say I was bitter for a while. 

I am reminded of this mistake every time I pass Six Flags on the way to the airport.

Have a Six Flags Day!